Tonight I feel deeply in love with myself again. Possibly for the first time ever and it is gorgeous.
“Embodying your awesomeness” means embodying and loving ALL of your parts. Leaning into the shadow parts, growing the light parts. Letting go of the shame and heavy burden of deep grief for my brother’s deaths has really opened up a new world for me. I really want to tell any of you going through divorce, death of a loved one, PTSD – it does get better. Keep moving towards the light and be gentle with yourself.
It’s incredible what happens when we share our stories and are heard. Listening is magic, I tell ya.
Tonight was magic. I realized that I need at least two days of unscheduled quiet solitude at home to create. I guess this is what people call “weekends” but my weekends generally fall on Wednesdays and Thursdays. I love the quiet of these days and the limitless potential for creation.
Giving myself permission to create solely for the sake of creating has been the hugest gift that I have given myself this year. It’s funny to watch my monkey mind try to stop me. Common complaints from monkey mind include:
“NO! That is a stupid idea. Don’t waste your time on that!”
cracked out monkey mind!
“That is not going to make any money. Why are you screwing around? You should be constantly working.”
“You can’t feel good – you need to make money!”
What shitty scripts to be reading to myself, huh?
Denying myself my creativity was denying myself my connection with LIFE itself and all the good stuff! What’s the point if we cut out the pleasurable parts of life? Why spit in the face of ease, stomp on our gifts of grace and overcomplicate things?
When was the last time that you did something non-goal oriented? When was the last time that you surrendered to the experience of what was going on around you?
Tonight I gave myself open permission to spend hours cooking dinner and playing piano. I haven’t played piano in years and it was such a delight to be playing – and singing! It was total magic to rediscover that I know how to read music! and play it! Time stood still. My heart smiled and all was well in the absolute bliss of the present moment.
Here’s what I’m working on :
Sounds of laughter, shades of life
Are ringing through my opened ears
Inciting and inviting me.
Limitless undying love, which
Shines around me like a million suns,
It calls me on and on across the universe
